You, Too, Can Pee Standing Up

Of course, all women have the ability to pee standing up. Millions are probably doing it in the shower as you read this. (You know that it happens).

But few have the ability to do so without urinating all over their legs or feet. Or without having to completely remove their pants and underwear. Or without having to stand or squat in an incredibly awkward and unnatural position.

Well, hover over that disgusting porta-potti seat no more, because there are plenty of ingenious devices that have been created for women, by women, to aid in making peeing like the boys do easy and comfortable.

For those scratching their heads, wondering why a woman would ever want to pee standing up, here’s a few reasons:

• Dirty, disgusting public bathrooms/porta-pottis 
• Camping and/or hiking and you don’t want a bear to see your bare ass
• Long road trips with no rest stops in site
• Boating (because not everyone wants to have to jump in a lake to pee)

Never again will your eyeballs float as you are stuck on Long Island’s biggest parking lot (aka the LIE) and you consider peeing through your pants into a McDonald’s cup. (That has never happened to me, FYE.) Next time, just whip out your pStyle or GoGirl and that semi-truck driver looking down at you will be none the wiser!

The Shenis was the first female urination device (FUD) I ever heard of, and while certainly the most hilarious, it may not be the most practical.

The Shenis is 12 inches long, gold, and in the shape of a male penis. Obviously, its sheer size makes it a little difficult to discretely transport.

Also, I wonder if some women might find the fact that it’s in the shape of a penis slightly offensive. I have no doubt that for many women, the desire to pee standing up has nothing to do with wanting a penis, and they may not like the implication that the Shenis’ design suggests. At $21 a piece, it’s not the most economical FUD out there either.

But if you want to pee standing up and have a good laugh at the same time, and don’t mind carrying around a 12-inch gold plastic penis in your (hopefully large) purse, the Shenis might be perfect for you. After all, as their site suggests, you just may illicit some Shenis-envy from the men in your life.

The pStyle is the second FUD I ever heard of, and it made me realize that there really are other viable options for women who don’t want to carry a foot-long penis-shaped funnel around with them. At 7.5″ long, the pStyle is considerably more inconspicuous with its open cup-shaped design.

It essentially works as a vulva-friendly funnel, making sure your pee is carried away from your body so it doesn’t end up on your clothing or feet. While this no doubt works very effectively, the pStyle user’s guide offers some tips:

“Pay attention when using the pStyle. It is possible to pee on yourself if you tilt the pStyle sideways or get it caught in your underwear. This often happens when you are so confident about it that you don’t focus on what you are doing. Also don’t pee into the wind…”

pStyles are made of rigid plastic that comes in a variety of colors, like lavender, orange, or even clear. (I can’t stop thinking of the ICUP joke from elementary school when I think of the clear one!)

They can be purchased from the Krista’s Cups website, or even from our friends at Lunapads. At a very affordable $12-13 they are a more reasonable (and discrete) option for those who want to “free willy” while vertical.

The P-Mate and the Whizzy are two disposable options made out of paper. Some advantages to paper FUDs is that they are super-discrete – they can easily be folded up and kept in a pocket for camping or concert situations where you might not have a purse or bag with you. 

The P-Mate is made of waxed cardboard and claims that as a result, it will not get wet and soggy after use, and can be put back into a pocket or bag until it can be disposed of properly if no garbage cans are near. It is printed with a four-leaf clover pattern because “it is good luck to have one with you when you are in need.”

The Whizzy is made of un-dyed food-grade paper and is meant to be disposed of immediately (it is not flushable). The Whizzy has a greater focus on making it easier to pee rather than allowing you to pee anywhere – it was created by a woman with disabilities and is designed to work with “minimal bending or movement of body and clothing” and for women with limited grip strength.

Both claim to be made from environmentally friendly materials and are biodegradable. While this is definitely a great option for those times you’ll want to pee standing up without having a place to store a reusable FUD, I personally wouldn’t use them as my only urination device. 

They certainly aren’t overpriced – both the P-Mate and the Whizzy cost about a dollar a piece and are sold in packs of 5 or more – but it is definitely more economical and environmentally friendly to buy a reusable FUD. However, it might be worth it to buy a five or 10-pack of them and stash them in a few different places just in case you’re unprepared and don’t have your reusable, like your glove box, your purse, your desk at work, in the fake rock where you hide your key, etc.

The last FUD I’ll bring up (and there are many more – Google and you’ll see!) is one I had never heard of but find very intriguing – the Go-Girl. 

The Go-Girl comes in a tube with a storage bag and is made out of medical grade silicone. While I couldn’t find any exact dimensions on their site, it looks small – it’s likely no longer than a pStyle, and if you watch the informative video on their opening page you can see the storage tube the women are holding is very small, maybe 4 inches long, I would guess. 

This is an environmentally friendly, reusable FUD, but the Go-Girl site also suggests that it’s economical enough to also be disposable. At $6 a pop (or 3 for $16), I would disagree, and I’m honestly mildly horrified that they would encourage casual disposal of something made out of medical grade silicone. For one, it is generally not a recyclable material (especially if you toss it in the garbage), and two, it is a great, easy to clean, durable material – why wouldn’t you reuse it?!

But despite that minor flaw in their marketing technique, their product seems to have a unique design, considering it has a splash guard and a no-splatter tip. Also the fact that it is made of a flexible material like silicone makes it more discrete to store (it can be folded up to fit in its tube and will then pop back into shape when needed for use) and I’m guessing allows it to fit closer and more comfortably to the body. 

They also have a great slogan – “Don’t take life sitting down.”

I will admit that I haven’t tried a female urination device yet – part of the inspiration for this post was doing a little research to find one that would work best for me. Suggest which one you would want to try (or think I should) and maybe I’ll buy it and post a review!